troubled mind

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Posts by troubled mind

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  69

  Dec 15 2011 WT: We don't care if you have a f***ing BRAIN TUMOR get your a$$ out in service!!

  by baltar447 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  oh dear sweet jeebus:.

  i enjoy making return visits and helping out on bible studies.

  on my better days, i like to witness from house to house.barbara, who has a brain tumor.. i carry only a very light magazine bag.

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  troubled mind

  Shamus you have a reply PM
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  69

  Dec 15 2011 WT: We don't care if you have a f***ing BRAIN TUMOR get your a$$ out in service!!

  by baltar447 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  oh dear sweet jeebus:.

  i enjoy making return visits and helping out on bible studies.

  on my better days, i like to witness from house to house.barbara, who has a brain tumor.. i carry only a very light magazine bag.

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  troubled mind

  A very long time ago .... When my three boys were very young 8,5,and 2 , I went through a severe depression . I was seeing a specialist and taking medication . I had horrible panic attacks that would then through me in to low moods of depression . I was missing quite a few meetings and service . I would force myself to get our home ready for the congregation book study that was held there on Monday nights .

  After a few months of not 'snapping out of it ' our book study conductor spoke to my husband about getting me back out in service and that 'He" would work with us as encouragement . (the real pressure I am sure was it didn't look good that I was so low in hours and yet the study was still being held in our home .Which in turn made him look bad ) So they talk me into going out on a Saturday in their car group after a very short time I told my husband 'I need to go home " ; Instead we were told to get one more door ........ I walked up to the door behind my husband in a full blown panic attack ,sobbing tears ....I hid my face behind him as he spoke to the householder . When he turned around and saw how emotionally in pain I was ,he felt terrible . He took me back to the car and told the Brother we were done for the day .

  I have to tell you that was hard to share ....but it just goes to show how FAR off Witnesses are from the love and kindness Jesus spoke of in the Bible . Their only agenda is to make the Publishing Company quota PERIOD . You do not matter . Thay do not care for you as a person , you are a slave expected to follow the agenda .

  Shamus You are So right that JWs need all the Paxil , Prozac and Xanax to help them deal with how dead inside this joke of a religion really makes them feel . Until they open their eyes they will continue to blame 'this old system' for their ailments .

  In our hall we had a sister with deformities from arthritis and she was always held up as an example for her aux service time ,it was always done in a way to shame any of the younger healthy ones as having no excuse compared to her .

  Guilt ,shame ,what a lovely way to worship .
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  35

  Tuesday, September 11, 2001 - The Day My JW Faith Began to Die (finally)

  by AllTimeJeff in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  it was late june of 2001 that i was appointed as an elder at the amazingly seasoned age of 26. a true lifelong goal had been achieved.

  i had to be appointed an elder before 30. already, peers were starting to be appointed.

  i had to make it.

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  troubled mind

  Thank you Jeff for your post .

  It really got me to thinking about what 9/11 did to my faith too . My family and I were all still in the org at that time and quite involved . I remember the push for service that month was to just use the Bible ,and be consoling to those we met . It left an impression on me that at the Thurs. night meeting that week was business as usual ...other than a brief mention in the final prayer of those that had died not much else was said . On TV I had been watching how people were really pulling together for each other and how heroic some had been . Then at the meeting it was as if nothing had happened .Silently I pondered what the meaning of this was ... what WOULD it be like when the GT started ?

  I think a crack in my faith began that day . I saw the world was full of people that did have brotherly love for each other ,strangers were risking their own lives to aid others . It slapped me in the face how important it is to be really involved in the community in ways that met peoples real life ,immediate needs .

  I took part in going door to door that month trying to share hope ,but in my heart I was feeling something major was missing . That day I began feeling as if I was on the outside looking in ...
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  24

  Stressful Session with Uber-Zealous Parents--The Mermaid needs a hug!

  by Cadellin in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  okay, for those of you who don't know, i was raised jw by really great though uber-zealous parents.

  i'm now an adult and have been inactive for about two years due a bunch of reasons, the primary one (or at least the one that got the ball rolling) being the pathological intellectual dishonesty of the wt in how it handles secular quotes and citations.

  anyway, my parents are aware of all that and have left the issue alone for about the last year.

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  troubled mind

  ME ><YOU , consider yourself hugged

  I usually reply when questioned about my inactivity by saying : I had to quit for my own mental health and happiness . I try not to get into the doctrine and such . I just rely on my experience of being a Witness the first 44 yrs of my life ,and knowing what does and does not make me happy . Those still in still can not understand that thinking ...(it's a cult)
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  45

  Im disfellowshipped

  by newcomer1982 in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  think it was announced yesterday that im disfellowshipped.

  will these feelings of guilt and panic ever go away?

  my head is so messed up.

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  troubled mind

  So to save his position in the Kingdom Hall your Father is willing to kick you ,and his grandchild out of a house he has formerly allowed you to live in ????

  Does that sound like 'true Christian love' or even 'natural affection' ?

  To me it sounds like manipulation ,and spiritual blackmail ... Because they know you will be faced with increased hardship without their assisstance ,and this will make you easier to control when you feel you have no other choice than to follow 'the rules' of the organization .

  Now is the time for you to decide ,are you going to stand on your own two feet ? Do you want your own child to grow up in a religion that coerces parents to behave this way ?

  Do not fall into the trap of guilt being laid at your feet . It is a tool used to control you . You are an adult I assume . You have the right to make your own choices now .

  Find sources to help you in your area for single Mothers . Local Churches can be a big help ! Many have programs willing to help a person such as yourself ,especially in a small town .(I live in one myself ,and was amazed after leaving the Witnesses ,how very helpful and truly organized local Churches were in helping those in need .)

  Chin -up girl you can do this . Much encouragement and good advice can be found on this site . Courage to you !
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  21

  As A JW Were You Generally Feeling Guilty Over One Thing Or Another?

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i believe the witnesses keep people in the cult by means of using guilt as a tool.

  it seems people who leave the religion tend to stop using meds and anti-depressants.

  exjws seem more content and less filled with worry and guilt.. what do you think?.

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  troubled mind

  I was just thinking about this today . One of the main reasons I faded away from the meetings was not so much because I didn't believe they had the truth I just couldn't stand being so unhappy . I was so sad because i always felt guilty ,even when I had not done anything wrong . Whenever I was part of a group either at work ,or at the KH ,and the Elders gave a reprimanding talk or my boss came down on the sales staff for weak performance ....I always felt it was my fault ....how crazy is that ??? I now know ,after being out for 6 yrs that it WAS the Watchtower influence that caused these feelings .

  I no longer have those guilt feelings and I no longer suffer from episodes of depression like I did then . I feel happy now ,genuine,normal ...
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  138

  My Father passed away during the night

  by jwfacts in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  dad was a great man, great, despite the religion.

  he was powerful, tall and intelligent, yet humble and kind.

  he was an introvert, and a circuit overseer.

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  troubled mind

  I truly am sorry for your loss . He was so young ...so glad the two of you were able to speak with each other these past few months . He sounded like a wonderful man ,and no doubt a role model for you .

  I hope your Mother will moderate her JW views in order to maintain a better relationship with you and your family . I wish you much strength in facing those at the KH for the up coming funeral . Hold your head high as the proud son you most certainly are ,the love and respect for your parents will shine through . May the unlookers realize love of family is not a switch to be turned off and on .

  May you have peace .
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  18

  Reaching a Significant Milestone

  by Quendi in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello friends,.

  sunday, 4 september 2011 will go down as an important day in my spiritual journey.

  i had an extraordinary experience today that i feel compelled to share with all of you.

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  troubled mind

  I am so happy for you . It is wonderful when we discover how beautiful worship can be compared to what we were use to in the KH . I too wish you much happiness in your continued journey .
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  26

  Have you ever taught worldly people all about JW while you are ex JW?

  by Iamallcool in

  1. jw
  2. friends
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  troubled mind

  Yes I have several times . It just keeps coming up Many of my new friends have at least one distant relative that is a witness .

  Last week I was in a discussion about dating with some women friends . I explained what is was like in JW culture to date . One of the women asked if Witnesses were those 'bun heads that wore dresses all the time " I explained those were more likely Pentecostal (sp?)....it was funny though .

  In all my discussions it amazes me how very little most people really know about JW's . With this local area being mostly small rural towns that gets covered in field service every six months you would think the 'preaching work ' would have made some progress in teaching Kingdom Truths the past 100 yrs ... So much for the JW's being 'actors on the stage of the world ' being closely observed by those around them At least that is what we were always told ....as if the whole community gave a flying flip what we believed .
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  46

  I am out (finally) - done with the Witnesses

  by Anony Mous in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi, long time no see.

  i am finally out of the borg.

  had a talk with an elder-friend-family member today who said i should just do it if that's what i want to do, and my wife says if that's what i want to do that she's fine with it.

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  troubled mind

  Good job Anoy Mous ! Wonderful talk . I am happy you now feel free . Be prepared though for some emotional ups and downs , it takes time to re-adjust .